Heartbreak In Hogwarts
by HidesBehindClosedDoors
Summary: When Edward left Bella in the forest he had no idea that she was really a witch in hiding from the most powerful dark wizard of all. She returns to the wizarding world where her twin brother, Harry Potter awaits, along with some old and new friends.
1. Chapter 1

Heartbreak In Hogwarts

"Come for a walk with me." I nodded at Edward and followed him to the forest behind my house, in Forks, Washington. It had been two days now since my disastrous birthday party, which I never wanted in the first place. I mean having a vampire attack you don't really make you feel very welcome. I don't blame Jasper of course. It's not as if it's only his emotions he was feeling. To him he had his, which was harder than the rest anyway because not only is he newer to this, the rest of the Cullens –except perhaps Carlisle's –emotions were feeding his, but even worse to add to that he had Edwards, which meant me being Edwards singer would rub off on Jasper. It must have been impossible to resist. Don't get me wrong having witch blood in you doesn't really help any matters. It may not be as tasty to most vampires but a rare few prefer it, Edward being one of them. Edward stopped so suddenly I almost knocked straight into him. I checked to make sure the occlumency spell was still working against Voldermort, because I'm guessing that's why Edward can't read my thoughts. He turned to face me and his golden eyes were empty. Showing no emotion whatsoever. I knew something was wrong.

"We're leaving Bella" my eyes bugged open. That I most definitely wasn't expecting.

"When you say we?" I couldn't comprehend the fact that he would go without me but, I had to be sure.

"I mean my family and me. I don't want to be with you any more." No. I. What?

"But… I… I thought you loved me?" It came out as a question.

"Bella, I'm a vampire, your human, you were never anything more than a distraction." Instead of this breaking me apart it did the exact opposite. I felt enraged and stronger than I had in a while.

"Excuse me? So what… you do this often? Make people love you and then break them? What about the others? How do they feel about this?" He snorted, a very unattractive trait, might I add.

"Bella, look, Alice is getting fed up of spending so much money on you. Jasper has had enough of hanging around dinner. Rosalie… Well she's Rosalie… she never hid the fact that she hated you… Emmett wants Rose to be happy and is fed up of having to protect you… as am I." I felt tears start to prick the back of my eyes but I held my head high and spoke the question I knew would break me if it came out pretty much the same as the others.

"What about Esme and Carlisle?" He took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Esme acted how she does to everyone. Polite, motherly, sweet, but it was all an act. She hated making food for you and cleaning up after you. Carlisle just wants his family to be happy. He doesn't care either way. You're beneath us. A lowlife human. Nothing more." I felt my appearance start to change, damn having an auntie who's a Metamorphous. I fought to keep my hair and eyes brown, but even I couldn't stop my eyes from darkening.

"I. Am. Not. A. Human. You are such an idiot. How could you still not tell? I'm a witch you moron." He looked at me and burst out laughing. A full blown laugh, clutching his sides and everything.

"Yeah, course you are honey, want me to get Carlisle to take a look at your head." I glared at him.

"Don't bother. I would hate for your family to do anything they don't want to. If you come back looking for me I wont be here. I'll be back at school. And I don't mean Forks." I stormed off before I could break down and, slammed the door to my house. Charlie was already home.

"Bella, dear what's wrong?" He wasn't my real father. Not like he knew that, but soon he wouldn't even remember me, I still felt grateful.

"Nothing, Ch… Dad." I walked over and hugged him. He was now a part of me, even though he would forget me as soon as I wanted, I couldn't help but feel bad.

"Dad you won't understand but I just wanted to say Thankyou… for everything… I'm going upstairs to do something quick." Before he could say anything I ran upstairs and grabbed some parchment and a quill, I went over to the stereo to listen to my lullaby but, when I looked it wasn't there. That sneaky son of a bitch. Ugh. I pulled out one of my muggle CD's and stuck it in listening to the lyrics flow around me along with the tears pouring from my eyes.

_Please, please forgive me,  
>But I won't be home again.<br>Maybe someday you'll look up,  
>And, barely consciously, you'll say to no one:<br>"Isn't something missing?"_

_You won't cry for my absence, I know -  
>You forgot me long ago.<br>Am I that unimportant...?  
>Am I so insignificant...?<br>Isn't something missing?  
>Isn't someone missing me?<em>

_Even though I'm the sacrifice,  
>You won't try for me, not now.<br>Though I'd die to know you love me,  
>I'm all alone.<br>Isn't someone missing me?_

_Please, please forgive me,  
>But I won't be home again.<br>I know what you do to yourself,  
>I breathe deep and cry out,<br>"Isn't something missing?  
>Isn't someone missing me?"<em>

_Even though I'm the sacrifice,  
>You won't try for me, not now.<br>Though I'd die to know you love me,  
>I'm all alone.<br>Isn't someone missing me?_

_And if I bleed, I'll bleed,  
>Knowing you don't care.<br>And if I sleep just to dream of you  
>I'll wake without you there,<br>Isn't something missing?  
>Isn't something...<em>

_Even though I'm the sacrifice,  
>You won't try for me, not now.<br>Though I'd die to know you love me,  
>I'm all alone.<br>Isn't someone missing me?_

I grabbed out my wand from under my floor board beneath the window. Only one of the many that was loose. And placed it on the desk along with my parchment and quill. Before I started to pack I wrote a letter to Dumbledore.

Professor Dumbledore,

I'm very sorry but I cannot carry on staying in the muggle world anymore. I want to come back to Hogwarts. I know we don't start for two weeks, so I'm going to be staying with the Order until then. I'm packing my things now and, am going to fly over there. I know that the Ministry is keeping an eye on the floo powder network along with people apparating. I'm sorry if I'm disappointing you and I know it's safer for me here. I couldn't stay much longer anyway we both know that. Now Voldermort's back I need to start learning to fight again. Me and Harry both.

Best Wishes

Isabella Marie Tonks Black Swan Potter

I stumbled over to my window and opened it wide before whistling loudly and yelling.

"Shadow!" I heard a squawk sound loud as my beautiful black owl's wings glinted in the little moonlight that shone from between the clouds. As she glided through my window and landed on my shoulder I gently stroked her wings with a finger before placing her on my desk and tying the letter to her leg and nuzzling her beak with my nose. I couldn't help but smile as her eyes glinted in the light.

"Good girl, we're going back to Hogwarts, fly this to Dumbledore's office and meet me at headquarters. Atta girl." She nuzzled me back before taking off and flying through the open window, I took the time to watch as she flew and felt the excitement knowing I'd soon be joining her in flight. I crawled to my bed and yanked my trunks form under the bed, before placing them both on top of it. I grabbed my wand and waved it. Glad to finally be doing magic again. Most witches and wizards aren't allowed to do magic outside of school but my wand was made so that none of the ministry could see the magic it preformed. Its core was made with a phoenix's feather, to match with my brothers' phoenix feather and apparently Voldermorts too, the phoenix whose feathers resided in each of our wands had only given three and they belonged to us. My brother… how I missed my twin… it was like a part of me had been cut off. I hadn't seen Harry in a year, it was right before I was sent to live with muggles and I missed him dearly. Apparently he'd been staying with the order since I'd left so I'd see him soon enough.

"Accio school supplies." All of my Hogwarts gear flew into the trunk including my books, robes, potion ingredients, everything. it was so much quicker using magic to pack. I quickly grabbed my Ipod, cell phone, charger, toiletries bag and some normal clothes. Got to hate muggle clothing. Oh well. I shoved them in the trunk and walked into the bathroom with a spare set of robes and witches hat. I decided that since I was flying I may as well look the part. I got changed and looked in the mirror, sighing. I quickly fixed my makeup. One of the good things about being a Metamorphmegus, I can fix my appearance quickly. I grabbed my firebolt out of the wardrobe before dragging my trunks down stairs. Charlie saw me and looked like he was going to start laughing at any minute.

"Bells, what the hell are you wearing?" He couldn't hold it in any longer and laughed. I lifted my wand and pointed at him.

"I'm sorry. Obliviate!" He passed out in his chair and started snoring lightly. When he would wake up he wouldn't remember anything about me. I grabbed my trunks and walked outside pointing my wand to the sky.

"Obliviate Maxima!" That would have gotten rid of all the muggles memories of me in this place. Looks like it's just me now. I pointed at the trunks.

"Transportus, number 12 Grimauld place." They disappeared and I knew they would now be back at headquarters. With a last look at my home for the past year, I mounted my broom and took off in the direction of the Cullens. I had to see them one last time.


	2. Chapter 2

I quickly changed my hair back to its original colour. I had needed a new look when I was in America but changed my hair back to black and my eyes to green as I soared further up. I was about a mile from their house, which would take a few seconds by broom, when I saw Shadow; she always knew where I was somehow. I slowed down and she landed lightly on my shoulder cawing and holding her foot out. I landed lightly on the ground before taking it off her foot and stroking her gently.

Isabella,

It would be lovely to have you back; you are missed by everyone, especially Harry and Mr Diggory, don't be so shocked, you _did_ save his life. I have arranged to have you and Harry in the same classes throughout the year just as normal. My dear friend Professor Slughorn has decided to take over potions for me; with the help of your brother we managed to convince him. This means Professor Snape will be taking Defence against the dark arts classes. Meaning you will be able to continue with potions this year if you wish. Being as the fact that you are returning to Hogwarts I have decided to ask a few friends to help protect the castle. They are not normal witches and wizards and will be assigned to protect you and Harry. Meaning they will also be protecting The Weasleys, Miss Granger, Mr Longbottom and Ms Lovegood. Our guests shall also be teaching at the school of course to keep up with pretences. One will be helping Madam Pomfrey in the hospital wing and the other shall be teaching care of magical creatures. Their children shall be taking classes with you and I am hoping that some at least are in Gryffindor, to help protect you all, although I am sure they shan't be needed on school grounds, however better safe than sorry. Hogwarts students believe you were away on a trip for muggle studies as I thought it would be easier to explain. I shall be coming to visit you as soon as I can. It will be wonderful to see you again.

Hoping You Are Well

Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore

P.S A New Moon symbolizes new beginnings and ends.

I was happy that I had been accepted back at Hogwarts no questions asked. I couldn't wait to have a good old gossip session with Dumbledore again, many people don't think he would be the type that gossips but when the two of us got together we were worse than old woman. He was like a grandfather to me and I couldn't wait to see him. Placing the letter in my pocket I remounted and took off again, just wanting to look at the place I had once thought I'd belonged before going back home. As I saw the beautiful house I saw they were all getting ready to leave and decided I wouldn't bother saying goodbye, just seeing them all once more was enough to make a hole start to form in my empty chest. Shadow however had other ideas as she took off toward the house and I started to chase after her. She seemed to know what she was doing but I wasn't about to let her get bitten.

"Shadow get back here now!" I didn't care if they heard me. I swooped forward and she cawed again as I started gaining on her. I couldn't help but laugh. It felt so good to fly freely again, even if it was near his old house. That was when I saw him. Shit. He looked up at me and I avoided his eyes, concentrating harder on my rogue owl. I grabbed her about five feet away from him. And held her tightly to my chest, glaring playfully at her but I loved her too much to be really angry and I couldn't help but laugh lightly. I could see Edward out of the corner of my eye and he was staring at us amazed, I rolled my eyes and flew off, as I started back home, I let go of Shadow as she flew right above me squawking occasionally.

It wasn't a very long trip by broom but it was getting cold so I was happy when I finally arrived in England. I was only a few miles away from headquarters so I speeded up again, causing Shadow to hoot in annoyance as I laughed at her laziness. I was enjoying the sights of London. The muggles walking home from parties and a few rebellious teenagers drinking in the parks. It reminded me of how I thought life would be when I moved, thanks to Dumbledore, my 'father' was the chief of police. Meaning I couldn't sneak out like other kids and, having vampire friends didn't help any of course. It was hard enough getting my Hogwarts homework done in the little bit of time between where Edward would leave and when he came back through my window, never mind sneaking out to go and party. It had seemed worth it at the time, still seemed worth it now. A few stray tears slid down my cheeks as I landed outside number 12 Grimauld place. Otherwise known as headquarters to the Order Of The Phoenix. I wiped the tears away and walked over to the door. I rapped lightly and said the password.

"New Moon." The door swung open and I walked in. It was quiet so I guessed they were in a meeting, they would have to fill me in later as I walked into the living room and took a seat on one of the armchairs, pointing my wand at the dark fireplace.

"Incendio!" I whispered as fire flew from my wand into the fireplace and it started to warm me up. Flying in this weather wasn't really as much fun. It was dry but the wind was rough and cold. I have missed flying though and I couldn't wait for Quidditch to start up again. The sound of the kitchen door opening caused me to sit up as I waited for them to notice me. It didn't take long. Lupin started to walk into the living room, firstly noticing the fire and then turned his head in my direction. He immediately ran over and lifted me from the chair spinning me around.

"Bella! When did you get here! Why haven't I heard from you! What kind of niece doesn't write to her uncle?" I just laughed as he put me down and all the adults burst into the room. Mrs. Weasely was the first to move Lupin out of the way claiming he was hogging me. Followed by Mr. Weasely who shook my hand smiling hugely. Then it was my auntie Tonks claiming I had her worried sick when I didn't write for a whole month. Tonks was my mother Lily's sister and Lupin was her husband. Voldermort killed my mother and father when Harry and I were babies. Sirius was next to see me and I couldn't help it when I let a tear escape my eye.

"Isabella Potter." He sounded shocked to see me but happy none the less.

"Sirius." I ran forward and hugged him with more force than the others. Sirius was my father's best friend and my godfather. Me and the gang had broken him out of Hogwarts after he'd been sentenced to death for a crime he didn't commit. In the background I saw Professor Snape and Madeye Moody, who was our old defence against the dark arts teacher. Well he was supposed to be but he'd been kidnapped and Barty Crouch Junior used a polyjuice potion to look like him. He used it to get to Harry and almost got him and his friend Cedric –an older Gryffindor student who would now be in his 6th year at Hogwarts as well **(I know that really he's in Hufflepuff but he seemed too brave to not be in Gryffindor to me, and he is also supposed to be older but he needs to have different parts for the story to work.)–**killed. I had been suspicious about him, so I checked out his room whilst he was at the final tournament, which he'd entered Harry in. I saw that the bottles he'd been drinking were polyjuice potion and I informed Dumbledore. Dumbledore, Snape and I had forced it out of him that the real Madeye had been hidden in a chest which was really 15 feet down and he'd transformed the cup into a portkey to the graveyard. Luckily I had already learned how to apparate and appartated to the graveyard in time to apparate Cedric back but, I hadn't known Harry was there, if I had I wouldn't have left him. It was because of that, it was possible for Voldermort to return like he has, and now people were dying because of me. That was when I was sent to America after being told continuously it wasn't my fault and that if I hadn't been there Cedric would have died too. I was brought out of my thoughts by everyone else pushing their way into the room. Harry ran forward and hugged me.

"Sis you could have at least told me you were coming back, where have you been? I've missed you so much…" Hermione cut in hugging me too.

"We all have." I hugged her back hard as we jumped up and down squealing like the girls we are.

"Bloody 'ell Hermione, Bella, are you guys always that loud and where the 'ells my hug." I laughed and ran to Ron as he spun me around. I heard a clap and two sets of arms joined in as I looked up to see my fellow pranksters Fred and George, I giggled.

"How are my guys, any good pranks going?" They both laughed.

"That's our girl! Of course we have some pranks up our sleeve." They were like brothers to me too, it was so much fun in Hogwarts when we got up to our mischief. I was looking for Ginny as I saw her just coming through the door.

"How you doing, Ginny?" She looked up at me eyes wide and blushed. I just winked at her as I ran over and hugged her too. I whispered in her ear.

"I haven't changed that much have I?" She smiled hugely and hugged me back.


	3. Chapter 3

Ms. Weasely had made us all dinner and we were now sitting back upstairs in Harry's room which he was sharing with Ron and Hermione. I was going to be sleeping in their too because it wasn't awkward if I slept with Harry –I mean we're twins for crying out loud –as apposed to anyone else. Everyone was wondering what had happened to me during the time I was hiding in Washington. I had given everyone at the dinner table a brief version. That I'd fallen in love with someone and they'd left me. I was reluctant to tell them anything else, especially after I caught site of the expressions, they ranged from pity to absolute outrage. None of the anger was directed at me, it was all directed towards _them. _I know I needed to tell the gang the full details before we could carry on. Ron and Hermione were sitting together on his bed, whilst Harry and I shared knowing glances. It wasn't a secret that they'd been crushing on each other for years. I sighed and looked around.

"Guys there were some things I didn't mention about my trip and the person I loved, still do love actually as stupid as it is." I immediately had there attention and sighed, taking a deep breath before continuing.

"They weren't like muggles or us, they were something completely different. The whole family were vampires." I caught site of their expressions and carried on before they could interrupt.

"They weren't the usual vampires either. They didn't drink human blood, just animal. However it was hard for them and my blood was more… potent to Edward. His brother Jasper was on the animal diet for a shorter amount of time than them and at my birthday party I got a paper cut, Jasper went to attack me so Edward and the others grabbed him and took him outside. Either way Edward was rather… quiet after that and it was only a few days later he left, telling me that I was a burden to the family." I could feel tears threatening to fall but I blinked them back angrily before they could show. Harry looked livid, along with Ron, well he was more shocked than anything but I could see the anger starting to show, Hermione was looking at me with pity all over her face. I didn't need pity but it was nice to know they cared about me. Harry was the first to speak.

"Did he really call you a burden?" I looked at him and smiled lightly.

"Something along those lines, Harry dont worry about it, I'm with my real family now and I'm going home to Hogwarts, besides there's no way your kicking Voldy's ass without me." We laughed lightly after that and they let it go sensing I didn't want to talk about it anymore. I just couldn't wait for this fortnight to be over so I could go home. To Hogwarts. I had another two years to go there and then… I don't know what I'll do after that. I'll probably become a teacher there or something. Well as long as I don't get killed by Voldermort and his death eaters first. The others said goodnight and I took my pyjamas into the bathroom to get changed before getting into the other side of Harry's double bed. I pulled the covers around my chin and fell asleep. I would like to say I slept soundly that night or at least quietly but if I did that would be a complete and utter lie.

"_I don't want you anymore you're just a burden. I never loved you; you were just a toy… a distraction." Edward's eyes looked at me cold as ice and I shivered under his gaze. I used to shiver from pleasure, now it was pure fear. _

"_You…Don't…Want Me?" Before he could reply Esme stepped out of the trees._

"_Bella, could you be any more pathetic? He told you he didn't want you… so leave. Now. None of us ever really cared." The rest of the Cullens were quick to show up and all were saying near enough the same thing. Before I could leave they did it for me, they just ran into the trees, leaving me to fall onto my knees, crying weakly. _

"_Bella?" I looked up into the grey eyes of Cedric Diggory. The boy I saved a year ago from Voldermort. He was also the boy I'd had a crush on since second year. _

"_He… he's gone… they're all gone." My body wracked with sobs and Cedric just held me close to him, whispering sweet nothings in my ear._

"_Well, well, well what do we have here then?" I looked up into the dark eyes of _him; _the man who had killed my parents and almost killed my friends, me and Harry. He was looking on with a sinister smile on his face and it gave me shivers._

"_Hmm, I would love to kill you slowly, Isabella, but I'm afraid I have things to do." He pointed his wand at me and I tried to move Cedric out of the way._

"_No!" Cedric roared, throwing himself in front of me the same time Voldermort said 'Avada Cadavra." _

"_NO!" My scream was lost in the wind that had picked up as Voldermort suddenly apparated. I ran over to Cedric tears streaming down my face._

"_Now I see why he left you." They were Cedric's last words and then he died. I couldn't breathe or call for help. All i could do was cry over his dead body as his empty eyes stared up at me._

"_NO! NO! NO!"_

"_Bella. Bella. BELLA!"_

"Bella, wake up it's just a dream, wake up." Harry was shaking me his voice frantic with worry. As I woke up and cried into his shoulder. I couldn't stop, I was crying so hard I didn't notice that the adults had ran into the room at my screaming. I felt someone else's arms surround me and I carried on crying until there were no tears left. They say that you can't measure how much pain people are in by how many tears they cry but by how many they hold back. That was exactly how I was feeling, it wasn't enough to cry but I new I had to do something, I needed to get my mind off of Edward Cullen forever and the only way to do that was to get to Hogwarts and start over again. Which meant I had a whole two weeks until the nightmares would go away. I didn't understand why Cedric would have been in my dream and I couldn't understand why I felt so desperate to make sure he was okay. I mean that crush had ended when I had started dating Edward… hadn't it? I was happy with Edward… I think. Either way I highly doubt Cedric would want me to contact him. I mean he never even spoke to me after the whole graveyard incident. Don't get me wrong I moved after that year but he could have found me during the two weeks after. Oh well, what's done is done and I can't concentrate on boys, I need to start thinking about how to kill Voldermort and about my OWL's that I had coming up. Great and that isn't even sarcasm. I just couldn't wait for these two weeks to be over. I'd have too much on my mind to think about the Cullens and eventually they should fade away until there's no pain left. Yeah right like that could ever happen. I have really bad luck. I just want to go back home and curl up by the fire in Gryffindor Common Room with Cedric. I mean my brother, not Cedric. Dammit, what's wrong with me?


	4. Chapter 4

I had nightmares for the last two weeks and spent all my free time practicing spells with the order, to help in the final fight, as well as that Molly Weasley had me helping to clean up the headquarters which was a losing battle if you ask me, and to top it off Hermione had made me start studying to try and catch up on the year I missed. Dumbledore had visited a few times in the first week but not since then. Finally it was the day I went back home to Hogwarts. I would miss Sirius and the others but I couldn't wait to get away from the thoughts of the Cullens that had plagued me since the day he left. Everyone else was asleep, but my nightmares had woke me up at six in the morning. Although I didn't wake up screaming, just shaking and in a cold sweat. I grabbed my chosen clothes –a black, long sleeved shirt with 'Life is wasted on the Living' written on the front in pink, I was also wearing a pair of dark coloured jeans and a matching denim jacket –and headed into the bathroom making sure not to forget my underwear. As the hot water from the shower helped to calm me down from the same dream I'd been having for two weeks, sometimes with Cedric in them others without, the cold sweat dripped down and mixed with the fresh hot water. I felt more awake but I knew that once I looked in the mirror I would regret it. I wasn't wrong once I got out and got dressed I took a peak at my reflexion and groaned. My once bright green eyes looked dead and had huge black circles under them making me resemble a raccoon. The wet, black hair falling down my back had lost its shine and my skin was paler than normal. I sighed and carried my pyjamas back to my room and grabbed my makeup bag. I put a little Concealer under my eyes and, some red lip gloss, giving me a slightly more alive look. Jeesh I had looked like a vampire that hadn't fed in quite a while, although not as inhumanly beautiful of course.

Before anyone else woke up I grabbed a hold of my already packed trunks and hauled them into the living room before making my way into the kitchen. I started by setting the table and then moved on to start making breakfast. By the time I'd finished putting the waffles onto the last plate, everyone had either already headed down or was just getting dressed. Molly was the first to wake and she had helped me to finish breakfast. Ron was especially glad to have me back to cook; it was one of the things that he loved me doing. It was now about eight o clock and we were all heading into Diagon Alley to get a few last minute items before heading to the train station before it left at eleven. Once we got there we all split up. As happy as I was to have my family back I felt like I needed a little alone time. First off I headed to Gringottes to get out some of the large amount of money our parents left us. I already had all of my school stuff: robes, books, potion supplies, and a crystal ball. I was supposed to start divination this year. What a load of crap, the only person I knew who could actually read the future was Alice. Wince. Since I'd got stuff for school I decided I'd shop for pleasure. I started by heading into Florish and Blotts. It was a book store and had every book needed for school but, only a rare few for just a light read. I grabbed a copy of a new book called 'The worst witch' and a few others including: 'The Host', 'Marked,' 'Dhampir,' 'Thirteen reasons why' and 'Shiver'. I couldn't help but get a few vampire books they were always my favourites even though I'm sure it will be hard not to think of the Cullens –Wince –when I'm reading them. Before going to the Black Cauldron to meet up with the others I quickly ran in to the first magical creature's shop I saw. I wanted to get some sort of treat for Shadow. Walking in I went to the isle on Owl supplies. Finally finding a few mice, I took them to the counter.

"Is this all dear?" The lady at the counter asked but before I could reply I was attacked by a ball of grey fur.

"No! Bad Cub! Get off!" The woman pulled the creature off me and i gaped at what it was.

"Is that a wolf cub?" It was beautiful its fur was a shiny grey and its golden eyes shone brightly at me with so much intelligence you wouldn't have thought it was an animal. I would have thought that the golden eyes would remind me of them but, the cub's eyes were so much prettier.

"Yes, it is. We only started selling them a few weeks ago. This one was found by Wizards when its mother was killed by a vampire." I winced at the thought. Did they…  
>"Erm… I don't supposed you know where about?" I didn't want to find them I just wanted to know if it was them. There were only two known vegetarian covens.<p>

"Yes, actually, some place in Denali. I believe it was the vegetarian coven out there." I let out a breath I didn't realize I had been holding. I was going to leave but there was something that made me look at the cub once more. When I did I felt like crying. Its eyes were so full of sadness as he whined at me. I knew Dumbledore wouldn't be happy but I couldn't just leave him there.

"How much for the cub?" The woman looked at me shocked before stumbling over her reply.

"Are you sure? I mean there not very predictable like other animals. Are you sure you wouldn't like a cat?" I smiled and held out a hand for the cub that was struggling in her arms to sniff. The woman's eyes grew wider. Then the cub just licked my hand and rubbed his face into it. The woman looked as though it was a mandrake I'd just petted, not a wolf cub.

"He's never let anyone come too close to him before. I'm only able to hold him because you're here. Please you can have him if you wish; I just thought he'd be too much trouble but obviously not. He's ten sickles." I handed her the money and the cub literally jumped into my arms.

"Thankyou. And well I always did get on with animals better than people." I walked out before the woman could reply. I quickly made my way to the black cauldron. The barman looked gob struck at the cub and I rolled my eyes.

"A bottle of butterbeer and a bowl of water please." I gave him the money and headed over to a table in the corner with the drinks with the cub following behind me. I went to put his on the floor but he jumped up at the booth and sat beside me as I placed his water on the table and he lapped it up. I sipped mine as I giggled at how cute he was.

"Hmm… what to call you. I can't just keep saying 'the cub' can I? How about… Swift… nah too girly… Erm… Steel… too aggressive… I'd name you Shadow but that's my owls name… Caleb…" he yipped at this and I got a huge shit eating grin on my face.

"You like that?" he yipped again and my grin got impossibly wider.

"Caleb it is then." I patted his head and he jumped up to lick my chin. I was so glad I'd bought him… I guess I'd best write to Dumbledore and give him a heads up. I took out my quill, ink and parchment which I always carried with me. Mr and Mrs Weasley had our trunks and animals. So I'd give it to Shadow when she arrived.

_Dumbledore,_

_I got a new pet. He's not like normal witch pets and they have only recently started being sold as such. He's a wolf, only a cub at the minute and he's called Caleb. I know I should have consulted you first but we're leaving soon and it wouldn't get to you in time for me to get a reply before I'd be on the way. I knew you'd at least want a heads up so this is why I'm sending Shadow ahead with it. See you in the grand hall._

_Isabella Marie Tonks Black Swan Potter._

Once I'd finished the note and put everything back in my bag, Harry, Ron and Hermione walked in. I smiled and waved them over. They had yet to see Caleb and I couldn't wait to see how they would react. Once they were at the table they all sat opposite me and still hadn't seen Caleb.

"Heya B, what are you so happy about?" Ron was first to notice my grin that was plastered across my face, in answer Caleb put his paws on the table and lifted his head, with his tongue sticking out the side, I guess he must be psychic. Well probably not but hey it doesn't matter, there faces were so funny I burst out laughing as Caleb yipped. Hermione's eyes were bulging out of her sockets, Ron had fallen off his chair and Harry had stood up taking a few steps back.

"What is that?"


	5. Chapter 5

I rolled my eyes at Harry.

"For goodness sake Harry, it's a wolf cub and he's mine, isn't he cute." Hermione snapped out of it first and rushed around the table and put her hand out for him to sniff her. He did and started licking her hand as she giggled.

"He's so cute Bells, where did you find him." Ron's eyes got wider.

"Hermione get away from it, it might bite you." I rolled my eyes at him.

"Ron he's just a cub for crying out loud and I got him from the magical creatures store next to Florish and Blotts." Even Harry had came over now and was patting him, Ron still looked unsure but came over holding his hand out, I saw Caleb lick his fingers and Ron jumped back and squealed as we burst out laughing, even Caleb yipped.

"IT BIT ME! IT BIT ME!" Then he looked at his hand turning it over.

"He did not. He licked you, you moron." Hermione was still in full blown laughter and we were told to quiet down by the owner. Everyone else's reactions were the same as Harry's mainly, wary but loved him after a second or two.

We had just gotten on the train after waving goodbye to Mrs and Mr Weasley, I was carrying Caleb and no one noticed him yet because he blended in with my coat. We finally found an empty compartment and I, Hermione, Ron and Ginny made our way inside; I sat Caleb on the seats and threw my trunks and Shadows empty cage –I'd sent her to deliver my note to Dumbledore as soon as Mrs Weasley brought her in –in the luggage compartment above the seats. When I sat down in the window seat Caleb made himself comfortable on my lap and dozed through some of the trip, he woke up after the sound of our chatting died down and the compartment door slid open. I groaned, just what I needed. Malfoy and his followers were standing outside smirking.

"Well, well, well, the rumours were true the famous Isabella Potter returns. Have a nice trip, get rid of the baby did you? Let me guess, was it in abortion or did you send it to the same place your mother and father are." He smirked. I knew that some of the rumours were going to be bad but, pregnant? Where the hell did that come from? I forgot all about Caleb as I stood up and stalked toward Malfoy; he had yet to notice the wolf cub trotting behind me.

"Get out now! I was not pregnant you low life piece of scum and if you don't leave I will make sure you never possibly could get a woman pregnant, capish?" He just glared at me but didn't move. I realized I had been spending way too much time with vampires as I started to growl at him. He started laughing before he heard a real growl. One of an animal. Edward? I looked around, he wasn't there then I saw where Malfoy's eyes were directed… at my cub. He was crouched low to the ground ready to spring… and his eyes were black with rage as he snarled furiously. I smirked as Malfoy and his cronies backed away.

"You really think Dumbledore's going to let you keep that thing in the dorms?" He tried to retrieve his smug attitude back but it was lost, just like his pride as he backed away from a tiny wolf cub.

"Actually, he already knows dipshit. Now get out before I set him on you, I don't think it would take much." That did it, he pretty much ran from the compartment continuously tripping over his own feet as everyone laughed and I gave Caleb some meat I had for the trip as a treat. I could tell this year was going to be fun.

Finally, home sweet home. Once we arrived back at Hogwarts I finally felt a feeling of belonging again, this is me, not a boring muggle and not a vampire wannabe. Although if I was with Edward I would still want to be one but, eternity's only worth living if you have someone to live for. Caleb could sense my mood change and started licking the fingers that were resting on his back as I carried him to the carriage. We left our bags for the Witches and wizards to put them in out rooms. When I did get to the carriage I stopped dead. What the hell was pulling the carriage? It looked like a purple horse. Its rib cage was sticking out but, looking at it closely you could see the beauty of it… still what the hell is it? Caleb could see it too but none of the others seemed to notice it. I decided to ask Hermione, if anyone would know what it is, she would.

"Hermione what's that thing pulling the carriage." Everyone looked at me as if I had two heads.

"Nothings pulling the carriage B, it's pulling itself like always." Am I seeing things? No, if I was then so was Caleb. A familiar, dreamy voice came from behind me.

"You're not going mad, I can see them too. Thestrals there called. They can only be seen by people who have seen death." It was Luna Lovegood and, she was sitting in the carriage reading an upside down magazine called the quibbler which I recently learned was edited by her father.

"But I haven't…" That's when I remembered James. Sure he hadn't been mortal, and I was sort of out of it when I saw it but, I had witnessed him being torn apart and burned on a fire in the old ballet studio.

"…Oh." Luna nodded sadly as she returned to her magazine.

"Who did you see die, Bella?" Harry was trying to be comforting but it angered me that they had killed James, who had a mate and a friend when they had thought I had nothing. No close family, no friends and no mate. Why would he just kill James for the sake of it? It wasn't fair. Then again who ever said life was fair?

"I don't want to talk about it Harry." He knew the tone of my voice meant 'you push it you die', so he didn't press. We caught up with Luna as Caleb sniffed the air and never took his eyes off of the Thestrals.

Eventually the carriage pulled up in front of the great doors of Hogwarts, we followed behind one another into the great hall as Caleb simple walked behind me, occasionally jumping into the air. His tail was wagging behind him proving how young he was. Everyone stared at him as he followed me to the table and curled up at my feet underneath the table. The sorting ceremony had started and we had seven new Gryffindors, three girls and four boys, there were also a lot of new students in the other houses. The feast would begin shortly but I knew that Dumbledore would be starting his speech first. With that thought he stood up looking directly at me, he looked stressed but he was too loving toward me that I knew he wouldn't tell me off.

"Older and new students I have a few start of the year warnings I need to remind you of. First of all please note that the dark forest is strictly forbidden to all of you, and yes that does mean you Potters, Weasleys, Granger." I turned a light pink remembering how many times we had been into the dark forest and how that we were in danger each time. "Also Mr Filch would like to remind you that the third floor corridor is forbidden to those of you who do not wish to die a most painful death. I would also like to welcome back Miss. Isabella Potter." I blushed again as a round of applause echoes off the walls coming from three of the four Hogwarts tables. Slytherins were not so glad to have me back of course, the Gryffindors were the loudest, I had yet to see Cedric but that might have been because I was too busy concentrating on not standing on my cub. "On another note we will be expecting some visitors to join us in a few weeks but, they have to set a few things up before they will join us, they are not muggle but nor are they Witches or Wizards, I will explain more when they join us. On a final note there is a strict rule from now on. There are new pets that can be used for Witches and Wizards these are wolf cubs like Miss. Potter has brought. However I cannot allow any more of them in the castle in case they fight between themselves. I wouldn't have allowed Miss. Potter one if I had known about it before, but from now on no more wolf cubs. Isabella you may keep yours since he has already been bought but no more of them, now let the feast begin." I was rather glad that Caleb could stay and I didn't really want Malfoy getting one because Dumbledore was right, they would be set on one another. I had only started eating when I was continuously welcomed back but only by those closest to us because I doubt they wanted to crowd me straight away knowing how long we would have to say our hellos. In the muggle world I hated attention in case I mucked up and some sort of magic happened but nothing ever did luckily, here I was in my element and always considered popular mainly because me and Harry were the 'chosen' ones. Joy to the fucking world.

I bent down to feed Caleb some cooked steak but I saw a flash of bronze hair exit the grand hall. Edward? I stood up quickly running out of the hall chasing him with Caleb following like always, once I got out of there I saw him turning a corner and I carried on running after him.

"Edward!" I turned the corner and ran straight into his back. But he wasn't hard or cold. He wasn't Edward.


	6. Chapter 6

Cedric turned around to look at me sitting on the floor from losing my balance when I ran into him.

"Shit, I'm so sorry Cedric; I thought you were… someone else." I thought I would be disappointed or at least sad but, I was happier to see Cedric than I was disappointed it wasn't _him. _

"Edward? Who's Edward?" He looked shocked but smiled and held out a hand which I gratefully took.

"Vampire, ex boyfriend." His eyes went wide as his mouth gaped; I couldn't help let the giggle escape my lips.

"Are you serious?" I just nodded and blinked back the tears that were constantly threatening to spill over. Obviously not quick enough as he bent toward me and hugged me to his chest.

"I've really missed you, Bells. I'm sorry I never got a chance to Thankyou for what happened in the graveyard but, really what do you say to someone who saved your life?" I smirked.

"Thankyou for saving my stupid ass?" he chuckled with me.

"Okay maybe your right, maybe it is as simple as that. Although I did always find it hard talking to you." I looked at him in disbelief and snorted. Not a very attractive trait but hey.

"You are so full of shit. It's me, pale, clumsy, black hair, green eyes, nothing special, Ced." He just looked at me like I was a moron.

"You really don't see yourself clearly do you?" It was the exact same words _he_ had said, but if I was all that he wouldn't have left, this time the tears didn't even make an appearance I was tired of crying over him. I could cry for my lost love tonight when everyone else was asleep and I didn't have a handsome, sweet and charming wizard standing in front of me. He carried on talking.

"You have the brightest green eyes I have ever seen, just like emeralds, they sparkle against your snow like skin and your hair frames it all to make a wonderful picture that not even Picasso could come close to showing in his painting." Tears pricked my eyes. That was the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me and that includes Edward. I hugged him happy that I had finally started to feel beautiful again. I used to before I changed my appearance and before he left but it had all changed then, now I feel as though I'm starting to heal already. He hugged me back and that's when it started to fuck up. First off he pulled back a bit and kissed me, full on the mouth, I was shocked but so happy and as he licked my lip asking for entrance I heard a voice that could piss me off anyway, it didn't matter what he was saying.

"Aww, Cedric, you cheating on Cho already? Didn't think that relationship would last long, Potter you really need to learn who you should and shouldn't trust." I was stumped. Cho? The Asian girl that he had taken to the Yule ball? Oh shit. Why me? I let go and pushed him off me before turning around and starting to storm off towards the common room.

"Bella, wait! Come on! It's Malfoy. You can't believe everything he says." For one split second I almost turned around but that would have been as pointless as pouring raindrops back into a cloud. All I'd of been doing was putting more pain into my heart. Caleb whined up at me so I bent down to lift him up, he was still a cub. Though in doing that I had given Cedric enough time to catch up with me. Damn his long, well toned legs.

"Bella, please listen to me…" I cut him off.

"It's none of my business, we shared one kiss, it's not like were a couple." I carried on walking to my dorm.

"Bella, it's Malfoy, he was lying to you." Tears pricked my eyes. Malfoy was an arrogant prick but even he wouldn't make shit like that up he would come up with something better than that.

"It seems every guy I meet does that." I didn't stop to listen to the rest of his words I just jogged off toward the Gryffindor common rooms. I would have apparated but it was impossible to do so within the school grounds. I was fed up with guys lying to me and it was because of all this I found myself lying on my four poster bed, curtains drawn, crying into my pillow whilst Caleb nuzzled into me and my Ipod buzzed in my ear.

_Stay low.  
>Soft, dark, and dreamless,<br>Far beneath my nightmares and loneliness.  
>I hate me,<br>For breathing without you.  
>I don't want to feel anymore for you.<em>

_Grieving for you,  
>I'm not grieving for you.<br>Nothing real love can't undo,  
>And though I may have lost my way,<br>All paths lead straight to you._

_I long to be like you,  
>Lie cold in the ground like you.<em>

_Halo,  
>Blinding wall between us.<br>Melt away and leave us alone again.  
>The humming, haunted somewhere out there.<br>I believe our love can see us through in death._

_I long to be like you,  
>Lie cold in the ground like you.<br>There's room inside for two and I'm not grieving for you,  
>I'm coming for you.<em>

_You're not alone,  
>No matter what they told you, you're not alone.<br>I'll be right beside you forevermore._

_I long to be like you, sis,  
>Lie cold in the ground like you did.<br>There's room inside for two and I'm not grieving for you._

_And as we lay in silent bliss,  
>I know you remember me.<em>

_I long to be like you,  
>Lie cold in the ground like you.<br>There's room inside for two and I'm not grieving for you,  
>I'm coming for you.<em>

I cried for my lost love, Edward, I cried for my lost family, The Cullens, for my lost future, as a vampire. I cried for my second life, for my old friends, Jacob, Jess, Angela, Ben, Eric, even Mike, for the fact that they won't even remember me any more, as far as they know I was never even there, but mostly I cried for this life. The one life i always loved the most, even if I was in danger of being killed by Voldermort, I still had my friends and family, but now this life was starting to hurt me too.


	7. Chapter 7

I woke up the next morning with Caleb cuddled into my side and my eyes feeling sore from the crying. Stepping out of my warm bed I opened the curtains surrounding it to see Hermione and Ginny fast asleep. The other two beds were left for Dumbledore's guests, if they ended up in Gryffindor. Looking over at the window, I could see the sun was only just up. No wonder everyone was still asleep. Grabbing my school robes and toiletries bag I headed downstairs and out of the portrait hole with Caleb grumbling behind me.

"Up early today aren't we, Miss Potter." I smiled kindly at the fat lady.

"I suppose you are right, however it would probably be best to have enough time to sort everything out before starting classes."

"Quite right, dear. I heard what happened with you and Mr Diggory, my friend was listening in her portrait. I am very sorry dear. I wondered what was wrong yesterday when you ran through the hole." I closed my eyes against the tears and took a deep breath.

"Yes, well, maybe it was for the best. It helped remind me that men really don't care about us." I smiled sadly at her.

"Yes, that is very true dear. Oh, wait a second." She disappeared from her picture but appeared back in it before five seconds. "You'd better go dear; Mr Diggory is heading our way." My eyes widened.

"Dammit, thank you, I'll speak to you soon." I hurried off towards the prefect's bathroom before she could say anything back. I wasn't supposed to use the prefect's bathroom but Dumbledore didn't mind. The prefect's bathroom was much nicer, the baths were like Jacuzzis and it was much warmer. I poured myself a hot bath and sunk into it, letting all my muscles relax. I took my time washing my hair with a potion I'd made to help it shine and keep knots out of it. It smelt like passion fruit, I'd changed the smell because Edward had always like the strawberry smell and it hurt to think of it. Caleb lay beside the bath with his head in his paws and dozed off. I closed my eyes and sunk under the water letting it wash away the left over traces of tears. I didn't resurface until I heard the door open and Caleb bark a warning. I pushed my hair back and turned to the door only to wish I never had.

"What the hell are you doing in the girl's bathroom, Cedric?" He at least had the decency to look embarrassed.

"I had to see you." He was looking at the floor and his cheeks were stained red. I almost believed him but that wasn't the worst bit at the minute, I was sitting in the bath, naked and he was standing no more than five feet away.

"How did you know where I was?" I moved the bubbles to cover me.

"I asked one of the paintings."

"Ugh, and you thought you would follow me into the bathroom to watch me have a bath?" I was angry, and embarrassed, not as embarrassed as him though.

"Well, no, I just… Erm, I honestly don't know what I was thinking." He still didn't look up which I was glad about.

"Ugh, just get out!" Shit, that made him look up.

"I want to speak to you."

"I don't care!" I could feel my eyes darkening and my hair turning red.

"I'll wait outside." He turned and stormed out of the door. I got out of the bath and flushed the water away before drying myself off and putting my robe on. I cast a spell to dry my hair and brushed my teeth the normal way, and grabbed my belongings before following Cedric out the door desperately hoping he'd got tired of waiting and left. No such luck.

"I'm sorry for barging into the bathroom but, I had to talk to you Bella." I thought to control my temper and slowly felt my hair returning to black and my eyes to green, I kept my eyes closed while talking to him.

"Why? It doesn't matter Diggory." I refused to let him see how much he hurt me.

"Since when did you start calling me Diggory?" His voice was hurt and it took everything in me not to comfort him.

"Since you lied to me." My voice was hard and empty of emotion.

"I didn't lie to you." His voice broke.

"Well you didn't tell the truth, it's the same thing." I was getting angry again.

"I'm not with Cho, we went on a few dates but I was never actually _with _her. You have to believe me." I opened my eyes to look at him but realized he was closer than before and I stumbled back, falling over my own feet. He tried to catch me but was too late and ended up falling over himself, he had put his hands out in time so he didn't land on me but his whole body was pressed against me and, I barely smothered a moan. Caleb's barking brought me out of my trance and I tried to push Cedric off me.

"Shit, I'm sorry Bella." He stood up and held out a hand. It took a while for me to take it and stand up.

"Whatever I'm going to breakfast." His hand grabbed my arm before I could take another step. Caleb growled low and fiercely at him causing him to loosen his grip slightly.

"Do you always do that? Run away from your problems?" I had to think about that. It was rather true, I had walked away from Edward in the forest and flew away when I seen him afterwards… I guess I did run away.

"Better than waiting for them to do the running, it hurts more that way." There. I said it. I let myself vulnerable under this gorgeous playboys gaze. Surprisingly he didn't laugh or walk off like I thought he would, he just placed a hand on my face and lightly stroked my cheek.

"I won't leave you Bella. Not even if you want me to." And I believed him. As stupid as it was I believed it, this boy who I'd known ever since my first year at Hogwarts and who'd never given me the time of day until the tri-wizard tournament started. The boy who kissed me and told me I was beautiful when he saw me again, I believed it all. How could I not?

"I sort of realised that when you followed me into the girls' bathroom."

"You're never gonna let me live that down are you."

"Nope." I said popping the P before starting to skip off, I looked back to see him standing there looking irritated.

"You coming or not?" I heard him chuckle under his breath as he started to follow me at a slower pace.

"Hurry up, I'm hungry." I pretty much dragged him the rest of the way to the Grand Hall. Time must have gone quicker than I thought because the grand hall wasn't empty like I would have thought, at least half the school was eating, well they were until I rushed in dragging Cedric by the arm behind me. It turned silent but I was used to the attention around here, so I just rolled my eyes.

"Unless y'all wanna eat flies for breakfast I suggest y'all close your mouths." Most of them did and I could feel her glare before I turned to see the daggers Cho was throwing me. I ignored it and sat at the Gryffindor table with Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny. The twins weren't down yet, I was kind of surprised Ron was up but then again it's a constant battle between his love for sleep and his love for food. I piled my plate up with waffles and poured syrup over them before taking a huge mouthful. A little bit of syrup dripped down my chin and I went to grab a serviette to clean it off with after swallowing my food but Cedric turned me to him and licked it off causing me to blush and my friends to gawk, he continues his way up my chin to my lips where he kissed me again, only this time I wasn't interrupted by Malfoy's snide remarks rather than being propelled over the table by Cho's wand. That little bitch.


	8. Chapter 8

Eww. I have food in my hair. What the hell is her problem? I stood up and held my wand out to her.

"What. The. Fuck?" She was up and had her wand pointed at me. The Slytherins loved the fight between me and a Ravenclaw. They were supposed to be smart, no smart person messes with me. Cedric just stood there shell shocked.

"Expelliarmus." I cast at the same time she shouted.

"Rictusempra." That was one of the worst spells she could have tried casting on me. I myself had taught her how to tickle her opponent when she needed help sticking up for herself against Malfoy.

"Protego." It flashed back and Cho's started giggling and clutching her sides but that didn't mean she couldn't still cast.

"Finite Incantatum." She immediately stopped laughing and she looked pissed. By now Cedric had come out of his stupor and was about to help me when I noticed him getting his wand out.

"Leave it Cedric, this isn't your fight."

"I don't care. You're not getting hurt because of me." I just rolled my eyes.

"In case you haven't noticed I'm already hurt dumb ass just not because of you, or her." I pointed my wand back at Cho surprised she hadn't taken advantage of my momentary distraction. She was just looking at us, with a sad glint in her eyes. One I knew too well. Though that was nothing compared to the pain of Edward's leaving, it still hit a nerve and I hated having to kick her ass in front of everyone, but it was a matter of pride and I wasn't about to let people think a little girl could beat me when I was supposed to help kill Voldermort.

"Stupefy." Cho flew back over the table and was rendered unconscious when the teachers stormed over only just noticing. Oh shit.

"Ms Potter, Mr Diggory, to my office immediately." I followed Dumbledore's instructions. He had called Cedric up too which meant there was no way for me to get out of it. We waited in his office whilst he saw to Cho.

"I'm sorry for that Bella." I looked at him in shock before laughing.

"It wasn't your fault, Cedric. I knew it was only a matter of time before Cho got me for something. She's hated me since she tried asking Harry out and I told her she wasn't good enough for him." He laughed with me but we soon sobered up realising how much trouble I was in. I figured Cedric was only here because he saw what happened and well I think everyone saw me fly her over the table. I quickly cast a spell to get the food off of my robes and out of my hair. Dumbledore's office door opened and he walked through with a stern look on his face, if it was anyone but me you wouldn't be able to see the amusement in his eyes. I fought to hold back a smug smile.

"Miss. Potter would you please explain to me why you saw it fit to knock Miss Chang unconscious?" Cedric tried cutting in but I placed a hand over his mouth.

"I'm sorry sir, but she cast at me first causing me to fly over the table and I was only protecting myself." He turned to ask Cedric the same thing so I removed my hand from his mouth. The fact that he licked my hand sort of helped.

"Is that true, Mr Diggory?"

"Yes sir, Cho has had a problem with Bella for some time but only acted on it now because she believed me and Bella were a couple." I turned around and banged my head against the wall lightly. He did not need to tell him that much.

"And are you?" I glared playfully at the man who was like a grandfather to me.

"Well… I… Erm… you see," Cedric was stumbling over his words.

"No we're not. I only just got back the other day, and that's too early for me to get a boyfriend, Thankyou very much." Dumbledore was smirking and I failed not to roll my eyes.

"True, but you have kissed already have you not?" Cedric's eyes were as wide as mine.

"Albus! Stop it! And how the hell did you know?" I was so shocked I'd forgotten to be formal but Dumbledore wasn't too bothered.

"Alright, Bella, relax and Nearly Headless Nick was flying by at the time and caught site of you, you should thank him, he managed to distract Peeves who was flying about, that would be common knowledge other wise." I groaned and started hitting my head against the wall again.

"Anyway back to the subject at hand, you will be up here with me tomorrow night as 'detention' and after that we will talk no more about it." Detention with Dumbledore was like a gossip session and most definitely not a detention. Of course pretences had to be kept what with the other students, I'm sure Cedric knows something's up with us anyway.


	9. Chapter 9

I wasn't wrong. As soon as I got out of Dumbledore's office, Cedric started questioning me.

"Okay, what the hell was that? Normally you would get more than detention, you called Dumbledore, Albus, he called you Bella, I did _not_ miss the amusement in his eyes either, so what the hell is going on?" I just rolled my eyes and dragged him out onto the courtyard and found a place that was private so people wouldn't overhear.

"Okay, Dumbledore has known me for years, he's like a grandfather to me, he is also a huge gossip and knows almost everything about everyone, I call him Albus when it's just the two of us and slipped up in front of you. That is why I have never gotten into much trouble for anything including the whole deal with the Philosopher stone, the Basilisk, Buckbeak, Sirius Black, understood?" His eyes were bugging out of his head and I realised where I'd screwed up. Oh shit, I'd mentioned Sirius.

"What about Sirius Black?" I stayed silent under his scrutiny and that's when it all clicked into place for him.

"YOU WERE THE ONE THAT HELPED HIM ESCAPE!" I immediately put my hand over his mouth and looked around, luckily it was still early and most people were either still asleep or having breakfast.

"Shut the fuck up. I only got him out because he was innocent. He never killed Peter Pettigrew or the others. Pettigrew sold my family out to Voldermort; Sirius found out, went to kill him but he cut of his finger and took the form of a rat. Of course all anybody could find was the finger he chopped off and they immediately assumed Sirius killed him. The witnesses were killed by Pettigrew as well. Now if you've finished I'm going to have some breakfast." I went to stand up only for him to pull me down and the look in his eyes stopped me from pulling away. He believed me. He actually believed me, I know it was true but how many people would believe what I said.

"Okay, Bella, I understand and I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions and I do trust you, now lets get something to eat. Hopefully this time you won't be blasted across a table." Rolling my eyes I followed Cedric back to the great hall, it was full now and everyone was talking about the fight between Cho and I. Great all the attention was making me want to go back to being Bella Swan. No! I need to stop the memories before they overwhelm me. Take deep breaths.

"Bella? Bella you okay?" I blinked a few times and concentrated on Cedric realizing I'd just stopped in the entrance to the great hall. I smiled slightly and nodded heading over to where the gang were sitting.

"Yeah I'm fine just got lost in my own world." It was a little true. I got lost in the memories of my past. Forget it! I sat down next to Hermione and Cedric sat next to me. He held my hand above the table and looked at our entwined hands in awe. They looked right, different to how mine and _his_ were. I felt like I fit with Cedric, I was always self conscious around _him. _I wonder if it were to come between Cedric and _him _who I would choose. No. ugh I really need to stop thinking about _him. _It would never come to me having to choose. _He _wasn't coming back, end of. Me and Cedric might work, but _he _doesn't love me so it doesn't matter.

"Is it true you had a fight with Cho?" Fred was looking at me with amusement written all over his face, George was the same, he always loved a good girl fight but Harry's look startled me, it was a mixture of disappointment and anger, I mean what the fuck, so your sister has a fight with a girl in school what was the point in being pissed off? He barely even knew Cho. Wait. I'd occasionally seen Harry look at her but I'd never noticed that he actually liked her, ugh what sort of a sister am I? That's why he was so upset watching her and Cedric dance at the Yule Ball. I mean I was upset myself so I didn't really look at him all that much but, I did see the longing glances he made at her whilst dancing with Parvati Patil. Then again with the longing glances he kept throwing Ginny now, I think he was well over her, so what's with the disappointment? Oh shit, I just realized he hadn't seen me fight, ever, he must think that I'd changed more than I really had when I'd been with the Cullens.

"Don't give me that look Harry she threw me across a table because of Cedric kissing me." Shit I sooooo shouldn't have brought that up.

"Really? And why pray tell was Cedric kissing you?" Knew it. Damn you Harry.

"Well… I… Erm… Cedric?" Oh _great_ comeback Bella.

"Because I really like you and have since you first started." Seriously?

"Really?"

"Yes. You're…" He was cut off by Ron.

"Alright we get it. Enough with the lovey dovey shit, what about Dickward?"

"Dickward? I like it. Fuck him, he left me, not the other way around, obviously he don't give a shit so why should I?" Damn I wish I did feel so easy about him fucking off, I didn't, not at all but I was much happier with Cedric. I didn't constantly feel like I wasn't good enough, like I had to change, I actually was equal with Cedric.

"Ok then. Whatever it's your life Bella and we'll but out. Either way I want gossip." I had to giggle at Hermione trying to keep the peace between all of us. My head was hurting a bit from all the drama anyway so I just rested it on Cedric's shoulder; he didn't seem to mind and just wrapped his arm around me. It went almost silent in the great hall. There wasn't as much attention on me this morning until the fight but now I was already the centre of attention and with me and Cedric being so couple-like it was bound to start rumours and yet I honestly couldn't find it in myself to care. Classes didn't start for another 20 minutes so Cedric and I went for a walk through the courtyard, Caleb was following occasionally nipping Cedric's heels making me giggle.

"Cedric, can I ask you something?" I needed to know now before I let myself get too involved.

"Sure." We stopped walking and sat by the stump of a tree on the east side of the castle.

"What am I to you? Seriously?" I couldn't let myself get hurt again.

"Bella, you have been the girl I've been crushing on for five years, what do you think that makes you?" Is that it? Just a school crush. WTF?

"A crush? Seriously? Is that what I am?"

"You _were_." Oh fucking _great._

"Thanks for that, so I guess I'm just a plaything to you, as well. Well do you want to know something Cedric? I'm sick of being played!" I ain't going to be another fucking toy.

"What? I'm not playing you, Bella I really, really like you." All this switching of emotions was giving me head rush.

"You do? Then what am I?"

"You're _my_ Bella, you always will be whether we're together or not, but I'm not forcing you into my fucked up life." WTF! How dare he!

"_You're_ fucked up life? _Yours_? You wanna know fucked up? How about having your heart ripped out by a fucking _vampire_? How's _that _for fucked up? What about being almost killed _three_ times in the short amount of time I've been gone? Car crash? Vampire attack, _twice_? How about having the world's _most_ dangerous wizard trying to kill you _and_ your brother! What if you and your brother were the _only_ ones who could kill him! How _dare_ you tell _me_ you don't want me getting mixed up in _your_ fucked up life! If it's anyone, it's you who shouldn't get involved with mine!" With that I stood up and walked away, just walked away. I was so angry that I didn't look back when he called to me, not even when he shouted in shock as Caleb must have warded him off, I didn't stop until I got into charms class and sat at my desk between Harry and Hermione. They didn't notice anything was wrong, I had long since calmed down and the soft, loving, licks Caleb was giving my hand that dangled off of the chair was helping. I carefully rubbed behind his ears and smiled down at him slightly. I was so glad he had come into my life. Fuck Cedric, fuck Dickward, Fuck them all!

"I don't think me and Cedric are going to be talking for a while." I was talking quietly to my friends whilst we all waited patiently for FlitWick to show up.

"What why?" Hermione was the one that asked, I think she was the only one that could tell how much I cared for him, Ron, Harry and Neville just looked uninterested although I did notice Harry's hands clench slightly.

"He doesn't seem to know what he wants."

"What a surprise." Harry spoke through gritted teeth.

"Oh well maybe one of Dumbledore's guests might take your fancy." Not fucking likely.

"Honestly Hermione, only one guy has caught my attention and I went straight back to liking Cedric after him."

"Straight _back_?" Oh Shit I forgot about the fact no one else knew about my crush on Cedric before. Harry looked at me impatient.

"What, you think you were the only one giving longing glances at the happy couple at the Yule ball?" Yes. Good come back Bella!

"Fair enough." He didn't say anything else because that was when FlitWick walked in and started the lesson.


	10. Chapter 10

I was extremely tired by the time I made it to Dumbledore's office for our gossip session. I'm sorry, I mean detention. Today had been horrible, it was only my first day of classes and my heart was sore, my head was pounding and my hair had a permanent red tinge to it that had refused to fade from this morning. I had tons of homework and would most likely get more detentions because I won't be able to keep up with our current work along with the catch up crap. I hadn't eaten much either, I had skipped lunch because I hadn't wanted to see Cedric and so I had gone to Hagrids cabin and ate his horrible, teeth breaking, rock cakes, he absolutely loved Caleb, of course he would I mean how many people had pet wolf cubs? With a heavy sigh I opened the door to see Albus sitting at his desk with a worried expression on his face.

"What's wrong, has something happened?" Immediately I assumed the worst. Maybe Voldermorts made another attack.

"No dear, I was worried about you, after this morning you've seemed down hearted all day and I didn't see you at lunch." How does he know everything?

"I'm guessing you heard about mine and Cedric's argument then?"

"Yes, McGonagall overheard and was worried when you walked off before she could talk to you and you were gone before she could ask you to stay behind after class." Me and McGonagall were friends, sort of, she was like a mother to all of the Gryffindors and we would sometimes just sit and talk for hours in her office, I hadn't really spoken to her properly since I came back but considering how worked up I've been I've had excuses not to.

"I don't know what to do Albus. After _he _left me, I… I just haven't been myself and now Cedric keeps confusing me and insulting me without even realizing it and the worst thing is, he's right, about me always running away, we've already had about three arguments and I never have let him explain what he has meant even once. And sure I wouldn't have been so hurt the other times if he had but I just feel so angry, all the time." And that's when I finally let it out, all the tears I had been holding back today, and the ones I hadn't let fall for Edward and my lost family. I needed a mom, I needed my mom. I wish she was here, I wish Voldermort had just left our small family alone. Albus just comforted me whilst I cried and by the time I had cried everything out I felt like, well not like everything was okay, but that it might be, eventually I might be okay. I still had another hour of 'detention' left so Albus got me some water and a mirror. I drank and fixed my appearance so I didn't look as pathetic as I had. Caleb had fell asleep next to the blazing fire and Fawks had sat on my shoulder rubbing her head against mine.

"Thankyou, Albus."

"Your welcome dear. So got any gossip for me?" I had to laugh at him.

"Well lets see, apparently my brother seems to have a thing for Ginny and Ron is planning on asking Hermione out on a proper date, oh and Hagrid spent his summer with Madame Maxime from Beubaxtons academy, plus Fleur Delacure is engaged to Ron's brother Charlie. I think that's all I know. So what about you?"

"First off for someone who has only been back just over two weeks you sure find out a lot, I was sure something was going on between your brother and young Miss Weasley but I did not expect Hermione and Ron. And Hagrid the cheeky bugger told me he was studying giants." I gave him 'the look' Madame Maxime was definitely part giant and I did not want to know about the sort of studying he was doing.

"Oh, eww, I get it now." I had to laugh at the man who was like a grand father to me, he was definitely a drama queen.

"So you got any gossip for me?" Dumbledore always had the best gossip and never held back with me.

"Don't I always? Well Flitwick and Sprout have been dating, Filch is trying to catch the Weasley twins out whilst they use the room of requirement to experiment with their puking pastilles, he definitely isn't happy I let them back into Hogwarts after Umbridge expelled them and Madame Pomfrey is retiring as soon as my guests arrive." Wow, now that was a lot to take in.

"Eww Sprout and Flitwick? That's gross. I guess I'll have to warn my fellow pranksters to be on the look out, I'll just ask one of the ghosts to be look out for them." After a little more gossip sharing I left and headed back to Gryffindor common room. I'm going to speak to Cedric calmly when I see him. As I made my way to the fat lady's portrait, Caleb at my heels.

"Hello Dear, how was your gossip session with Dumbledore."

"Same as normal really you know how it goes."

"That I do sweetie. Password?"

"Caput Draconis." The portrait swung open and I walked into the common room, most were sat around in chairs studying or doing homework. I saw Cedric standing by the fire with his back to me. I hadn't really wanted witnesses but I took a deep breath and headed over. I had gotten only a few steps when Lavender Brown had gone over there and threw her arms around him. I fought to keep my hair black and my expression neutral. Bella Swan would have walked away but that wasn't me. I walked over with my head held high and somehow managed to look normal, no red fair, no black eyes, not even a grimace. When it gets cold and it feels like the end, there's no place to go, no I won't give in. As I got closer Cedric turned towards me, completely ignoring Lavender who was still hugging him and not so discreetly shoving her tits into his chest, tramp. But he was ignoring her, and was watching me with a wary expression. When I was finally in front of him I struggled to get my words out. I looked away them I looked back at him; I tried to say the things that I couldn't undo. I didn't want to fall to pieces I just wanted to sit and stare at him, I didn't wanna talk about it and I didn't want a conversation I just wanted to cry but I had to, if I ever wanted a chance to be with him I had to tell him how I felt and that I was sorry.

"Cedric? Can I talk to you please?" Lavender knew to back off, she didn't leave but she let go of him.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to sound like that. I didn't mean that I… I just meant… I didn't…" I just put my finger over his lips.

"Shh. It's okay, I don't know how you meant it but I know that I probably over exaggerated, again. I'm the one who's sorry, if I didn't keep running away then maybe I would understand things better." I blinked my tears away and looked into his blue-grey eyes.

"I want you in my life, I really do Bella, I just meant that I'm not going to force you into anything, it's all your choice, I can be a friends, a study partner, more or nothing because I… I… really care about you." I smiled at him and said the words that could make or break me.

"I want you to be more Cedric…" Before I could say anything more he was kissing me and spinning me around.

"BELLA! WHAT THE HELL!"


End file.
